Demons Mourn Lost Chance to Cash in on "Brand" New Monetization Plan
Demons Mourn Lost Chance to Cash in on "Brand" New Monetization Plan
Missed Opportunities
In a stunning display of sheer bad luck, demons around the world are lamenting the loss of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to capitalize on a revolutionary new monetization plan. This missed chance has left the supernatural beings in a state of disbelief and dismay, as they watch mere mortals benefit from what should have belonged to them.
Supernatural Entrepreneurs
Demons have long been hailed as expert entrepreneurs. Their shrewd business sense, combined with their otherworldly powers, has historically given them a competitive edge in the infernal business world. From soul market investments to devilish start-ups, demons have always had their finger on the pulse of entrepreneurial success.
The "Brand" New Monetization Plan
Recently, a group of mortals developed a groundbreaking concept known as the "brand" new monetization plan. This innovative approach involves leveraging personal brands, social media influence, and a hint of shameless self-promotion to generate substantial wealth. It seemed like an opportunity tailor-made for the demon community.
The Demons' Advantage
With their ability to possess bodies, manipulate minds, and instill desires, demons possess the perfect skill set to excel in the world of personal branding. The very essence of their existence is centered around tempting individuals to indulge in their darkest desires, making them natural masters of persuasion and manipulation.
The Demon Community's Reaction
However, fate had other plans in mind. Much to their chagrin, demons found themselves unable to partake in this lucrative monetization scheme. It appears that the human-driven bureaucracy, in a rare moment of competence, implemented a series of regulations aimed specifically at keeping demons out of the brand-building game.
The Bureaucratic Hurdles
Sources close to the situation reveal that the mortal world grew concerned about the potential havoc that demons could wreak on their perfectly curated social media platforms. A series of complex regulations and stringent background checks were put into place to create a barrier of entry that demons simply could not overcome.
Demons and Communism
Amidst the frustrated cries of demons worldwide, one particularly disillusioned demon named Belial expressed his disappointment. "This is yet another example of the oppressive capitalist system at work," Belial lamented. "We demons should be able to participate in the brand-building world just like everyone else. This discrimination against supernatural beings is downright unfair!"
The Supernatural Struggle for Equality
While the demon community continues to lobby for their rights to fully participate in the capitalist monetization game, some have turned to alternative options. A small faction of entrepreneurial demons has been exploring the idea of infiltrating the immortal realm of communism.
The Communist Dream
These demons, inspired by the writings of Marx and Lenin, believe that a classless society can provide them with the equal opportunities they seek. They argue that in a communist system, personal branding would be irrelevant. Instead, the community as a whole would benefit from their unique skills, unhindered by bureaucratic obstacles.
Political Awakening in the Underworld
This unexpected turn of events has awakened a political consciousness within the demon community. They have started questioning the inherent inequality in the capitalist system, which appears to discriminate against supernatural beings with remarkable business acumen.
What's Next for the Demons?
As demons continue to mourn their missed chance at monetization, it remains uncertain what the future holds for these entrepreneurial spirits. Will they manage to break down the bureaucratic barriers and create a demon-centric brand-building platform? Or will they find solace in the arms of communism, hoping for a more equal and inclusive society?
Only time will tell. In the meantime, the demon community must adapt to a world where their exceptional business skills remain untapped, leaving the humans to enjoy the spoils of the "brand" new monetization plan.
Disclaimer: This article is purely satirical and should not be taken seriously. Demons do not exist, and communism is a complex political theory that has its own merits and challenges.
