In a blow to Russia, a Dutch court rejects their attempt to escape a $50 billion payout to Yukos.

Kicking the Ruble: Dutch Court Rejects Russia's Bid to Escape $50bn Yukos Payout.

Jennifer Pagliaccio
Jennifer PagliaccioFebruary 23, 2024Ersatz News

Kicking the Ruble: Dutch Court Rejects Russia's Bid to Escape $50bn Yukos Payout

In a rather amusing turn of events, Russia's attempt to escape a hefty $50 billion payout to former oil company Yukos has been swiftly foiled by a Dutch court. Sorry, Russia, but it looks like Lady Justice isn't donning a fur hat and doing the Russian kick dance this time around.

The David vs. Goliath Battle

Enter Mikhail Khodorkovsky, the self-proclaimed David to Russia's Goliath. Now, Khodorkovsky wasn't your average David. He was a billionaire corporate overlord who dared to oppose then-president Putin. Naturally, Putin didn't take too kindly to the opposition, so he threw Khodorkovsky in jail and let his cronies gobble up the remains of Yukos.

A Tale of Legal Battles

After years of legal back-and-forth, a Dutch court ruled that Russia must pay a whopping $50 billion to the former shareholders of Yukos. It seems like the legal system has dealt Russia a blow that even Ivan Drago couldn't recover from.

The Dutch Court's Power Move

So, Russia thought they could just sweep this whole mess under the rug and escape the payout. But the Dutch court said, "Not so fast, comrades!" and firmly put Russia in its place. It's like a scene straight out of a Rocky movie, where the underdog delivers a knockout punch to the reigning champion.

The Ruble Takes a Dive

So What's Next?

Well, my dear readers, it seems like this legal battle is far from over. Russia has vowed to appeal the decision, hoping for a bit of that good old-fashioned Soviet luck. But who knows? Maybe the Dutch court will show them no mercy and make them feel like the band Duran Duran in a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.

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