Find out how Moscow is adding a hilarious twist to France's colonial citizenship predicament.

Moscow Adds a Dash of Salt to France's Colonial Citizenship Mix

Luis Payaso
Luis PayasoJuly 16, 2024Ersatz News

Moscow Adds a Dash of Salt to France's Colonial Citizenship Mix

A Standoff of Culinary Proportions

Escalating Tensions

It all started when France decided to make some changes to its colonial history. The country's proposed legislation aimed to allow the descendants of people from its former colonies to apply for French citizenship without meeting the usual requirements. The move caused quite a stir, with critics arguing that it trivialized the hardships endured by those who had fought for their independence.

A Salty Response

The salty bread, aptly named "Le Pain de la Discorde" or "Bread of Discord," was then sent as a gift to the French embassy in Moscow. The gesture was meant to express Moscow's displeasure and poke fun at France's colonial citizenship debacle.

The Art of Diplomacy, Russian Style

The French embassy, caught off guard by Russia's gastronomic protest, initially responded with a mixture of confusion and amusement. However, tensions quickly escalated when French diplomats retaliated by sending a crate of Camembert with an extra stinky twist, courtesy of a secret French cheese expert.

When Cheese Meets Salt

As the cheesy war waged on, other countries joined the fray, each seeking to outdo the previous act of culinary defiance. Italy sent French-inspired pizza topped with olives and pickles. India retaliated with a highly spiced biryani named "Curry Contention." And from across the Atlantic, the United States offered a supersized hamburger with an extra helping of freedom fries.

An Unlikely Resolution

They realized that food had become a symbol of their shared humanity and that despite their historical grievances, they could find common ground through their mutual love for good eats. And so, as the diplomats toasted with shots of vodka, they agreed to put an end to the gastronomic arm-wrestling match for good.

Lessons Learned

As for the unresolved colonial citizenship issue, it seems that France will have to find a less appetizing but more politically viable solution. Until then, let us raise our forks and toast to the power of culinary diplomacy!

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