New York City is making waves by outsourcing Covid testing for migrants and shelling out a fortune in the process.

NYC Gets 'Testy': Big Apple Pays Big Bucks to Toss Migrants at Covid Test Company

Isaac Dix
Isaac DixAugust 1, 2023Ersatz News

NYC Gets 'Testy': Big Apple Pays Big Bucks to Toss Migrants at Covid Test Company

New York, NY - In a surprising turn of events, the City that Never Sleeps has found a new way to make headlines. New York City, notorious for its skyrocketing prices and larger-than-life ambitions, is now shelling out big bucks to outsource Covid testing for migrants. While the move is meant to streamline processes and ensure the safety of both residents and newcomers, the price tag has left many scratching their heads.

A City of Dreams, but at What Cost?

Outsourcing the American Dream

Enter the New York City government, with its latest plan to tackle the Covid crisis. Instead of shouldering the burden of Covid testing for migrants on its own, the Big Apple has decided to throw some big bucks at a third-party Covid test company. This move has received mixed reactions from both locals and advocates for migrants' rights.

Pennies for Tests, Millions for Migrants

But just how much is the City paying for this outsourcing extravaganza? According to confidential sources, the contract signed between the City and the Covid test company is worth a staggering $10 million. That's right, folks—$10 million! One could say that's quite a steep price to pay for a bunch of nasal swabs and test tubes.

The Migrant Testimonial

To get some perspective on the matter, we reached out to a few migrants who are currently undergoing the testing process. One such individual, Maria Gonzalez, expressed her gratitude for the opportunity to be tested but couldn't help but remark on the hefty price tag.

The American Dream, on a Budget

This move by New York City raises an important question—what is the true cost of the American Dream? While the Dream promises endless possibilities and boundless opportunities, it seems that even dreams come with a price tag. The City's decision to outsource Covid testing for migrants highlights the paradox of the American Dream: you can have it all, but at what cost?

So let's all keep an eye on the Big Apple, as it juggles dreams, tests swabs, and tries to find its footing in a world that's become increasingly testy.

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